I hate you
by Nimyosa
Summary: Do I repulse you, Lawli-pop? Do I scare you with my red eyes and my violent nature? You’re doing a very good job of hiding it if you are. I tip my hat to you good sir. BBxL rated M for not so graphic sex.


*yawns* I should be doing my homework.

I dont own L or BB.

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"I hate you."

The one above me stills, shoulders tensing slightly, and I feel hair brush against my cheek moments before lips do the same.

"I know."

I hear your voice, so clear and loud in the silent darkness of your room. I feel your hands shift on either side of my head, trying to find better footing as you move your hips against mine again. My arms find their way up around your neck again, not for the first time tonight, and I pull you down to place my mouth beside your ear.

"I could kill you..." I breath, but this time you don't stop. I can feel the heat radiating off your skin, and my eyes, my lovely, lovely eyes, catch the faintest glimpse of the sex induced blush across your pale complexion. Do you know I can see you still? You seem to have a love for the dark, always hiding in your secluded rooms with the only light being those of the computer screens before you. Are they wonderful Lawliet? Do they show you the world you can never touch or see or smell? Aren't computers just amazing feats of engineering?

Am I always this contemplative during sex?

You thrust harder, surprising me, and I cry out. I don't know why, wether it was pain or pleasure or something else, but you make a soft noise in the back of your throat and trace your mouth along my jaw, your tongue slipping out to taste the skin of my neck before biting down softly.

"Your such a fucking narcissist." I hiss between my teeth as your own graze against my windpipe. "You have a whole orphanage and you chose to fuck the one that looks exactly like you."

"The others in this institution are merely children. Besides..." You trailed off, pushing yourself back up above me as I lean my head to the side, watching you from the corner of my eye. I can see your coal black eyes watching me, staring intently, calculating my next move. You almost look worried. "I am not hearing any complaints, am I, Backup?"

I bare my teeth in anger and move to shove myself up onto you, but you hold me down by the shoulders and jerk your hips roughly, hitting a spot inside me that makes me gasp and arch my back against you, my head falling against the pillows again.

"D-Don't call me that….b-bastard..." I manage to choke as you hit that spot again, making me groan and arch my hips closer, needing to feel more of that delicious friction you can make so easily. You don't say anything back, because you have your mouth slightly open as you pant. There's sweat on your back you know. I know because somewhere in between all this I wrapped my legs around your hips and pulled you that much further inside me. I surprised myself there, I didn't even know I could do that. I think I surprised you too. As far as you knew I didn't even know where penis goes. Grow up Lawli-pop, I'm seventeen now. I'm a big boy, perfectly capable of finding my own ass to screw. I don't need you.

But...i do.

I'm alone here. You know that. You were too, weren't you. Nobody comes near my. My eyes scare them off apparently, or maybe its the way I sit, and talk, and act. You were the exact same, maybe thats why you were lonely too. Sometimes I feel like I can understand you, just a little bit, when I stare into my mirror and see the person I want to be. I see those tired eyes, that slouched posture, those baggy clothes and unkempt hairstyle. I see you in me, but I don't see me in you.

"Ngh....Lawliet..." I breathe softly, and your muscles tense again at the sound of your name. You keep forgetting exactly who I am, don't you. You pretend you can't see the blood red hue of my eyes, even though you can practically feel those numbers above your head whenever I walk into the room.

Do I repulse you, Lawli-pop? Do I scare you with my red eyes and my violent nature? You're doing a very good job of hiding it if you are. I tip my hat to you good sir.

"My name..." You respond huskily, kissing the corner of my mouth and running your tongue across my lower lip, making me shiver with anticipation. "Sounds nice coming from your mouth B."

I smile coyly, my lips parting to allow that dextrous tongue entry into my mouth. I allow my tongue to tangle with yours for a minute or two, never once allowing complete dominance, before you pull back, a tin strand of saliva trickling down the corner of your mouth.

"Say it again." You order.

"What, 'fuck me harder Lawliet'?"

I didn't expect you to comply, but my god I saw stars.

"Agh!! Lawliet!!" I cry out, tightening my hold around your neck as I throw my head back in ecstasy. You lean forward and take my ear in your mouth, sucking wetly on my earlobe, and I moan and thrash like a cheap whore, gripping your hips harder with my legs, searching almost desperately for my release.

I wasn't surprised when I came first. Of course I was younger and possibly less experienced, so I knew what was happening when I felt the tightness in my abdomen become almost unbearable.

"L, I-I'm gonna-" You cut me off with a lip bruising kiss, and I scream into your mouth as I come, hard. I clutch your shoulders so hard I leave red welts were my nails break the skin, and I break the kiss to bite your collar, leaving a lovely red mark against that flawless skin.

I guess my own release set off yours, because you gave a few more ragged thrusts before coming as well, groaning into my hair.

"Ngh, Beyond..." You murmur, and I tilt my head slightly to the side to see your face out of the corner of my eye. Your blush is dark, and your coal eyes are hazy and clouded over with lust. Your mouth hangs open as you try to regain your lost breath, and your dilated pupils slide over to catch my gaze, no trace of emotion present.

I fall back against the sheets and untangle my legs from your hips as you sit above me, holding yourself up on shaky arms. I want to say something, anything to break this silence, but your gaze is so sharp it cuts me off.

You lean your head down and place your mouth back against my ear. Your breath is warm against the rapidly cooling sweat against my throat, and I shiver.

"I love you."

I clench my eyes shut and shift away, pushing you aside so that I have room to move. You sit up and get off me as I pull away, sitting upright against the head of the bed. There is an uncomfortable silence where I hug my knees to my chest and lay my cheek against them, looking away from you. I don't want to see you watching me as though you are making notes of my behaviour like some kind of wild animal. I want to look at you and see your eyes with emotion, see a smile on your face, feel your arms around me, holding me safely and firmly like you'd never let go.

"I have to go…" I murmur, getting onto my knees and crawling to the edge of the bed. I'm about to swing my legs off and gather my clothes when I feel your slender fingers grasp my wrist and halt my movements. I don't turn around, just sit on the side of the bed with my head hanging low and my hair obscuring my vision.

"Please...i would highly appreciate it if Beyond were to stay by my side until morning."

There is another silence, but this time the air is thick with anticipation and tension. I could refuse so easily, simply just wrench my hand from your grip and leave, but your voice….it sounded so sincere.

"My name…" I whisper, turning my head to the side slightly, just enough for you to see my cheek. "You called me by my name…" You say nothing, but the pressure of your hand increases slightly.

You acknowledged me, not Backup, not B, but me, Beyond. Beyond Birthday.

I turn back and lean forward on my hands and knees, my face inches from yours. Your eyes are half lidded and your mouth is fractionally open. I can feel your warm breath against my lips, and I move just that little bit closer.

It's strange kissing you without the adrenaline and the anger and the passion. It's barely even a kiss, just the touching of your chafed lips against mine, but it means so much more to me now, because your not just kissing my to find a place for your head as your hands do questionable things to my body. No, this is you showing me that what you see sitting on the end of your bed is actually me, not just some one night fuck.

You push me down onto the bed gently and lie beside me, pulling the covers over us with one hand as the hand on my wrist is brought up to brush away the hair from my eyes. You don't say anything else, but you sigh softly and place your forehead against mine, your obsidian eyes sliding shut.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and you know it as well as I do, so as I lay beside you in the still warm bed thinking about my worries and fears for tomorrow, I stop and allow myself a moment to bask in the aftermath of sex and acknowledgement and you, who's arms are now wrapped around my slight frame and your face pressed gently into my hair.

Like you'll never leave me.

And I still hate you.

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I'm still not doing my homework. i really should be. its due tomorrow.

Reviews will probably make me do it, because then i dont have to study as much to catch up on my work and i can write you guys more stuffz.

HINT HINT.


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